Slow Dancing on Main Street by Courtney Giardina

Author:Courtney Giardina [Giardina, Courtney]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-01-12T16:00:00+00:00

Six weeks. How has it already been six weeks?

I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom pressing my hands against my breasts, convinced they were bigger than only a few days earlier when I stood here doing the exact same thing.

Turning to the side, I let my hands fall and slowly rubbed them over my stomach, wondering what I would look like in another six weeks. Would the buttons be popping off my jeans? Would I still be able to pull them on? Would baggy shirts hide the growing human inside me?

Then, I thought of the six weeks after that. I would be almost five months pregnant at that point. I would know if I was having a boy or a girl. Did I want to know? Would Jesse want to know? Should I have a name picked out by then? If so, would it be a family name, a trendy name, or something vintage like the days of Loretta Lynn and Merle Haggard?

Since arriving in Hamden, my time had been occupied by family and Christmas traditions. There were moments I could tell Mama wanted to talk more about the baby—my baby—but she held back.

I wanted to talk to her more about all of it, but these days, I felt an obligation to fix the world around me. The world I would soon bring him or her into. I wanted it to be filled with love and happiness, not anger and hurt.

Now, here I was, about to slip into an oversized white sweater and tan cardigan to cover my high waisted leggings. My natural waves fell upon my bare shoulders as I looked down at my stomach.

I was going to do this. There was never any doubt. My first doctor’s appointment was scheduled, and Jaycie was already planning to come with me. It felt the most real when I told Mama, but standing here now, looking at myself, I felt it again. My whole heart was no longer hurting for me. My desperation to make things right went deeper than a girl who was longing for a boy to love her. There was a baby inside of me, a baby that wasn’t created on the road after one too many shots backstage. This baby was made by two people who had found each other after years of searching like two empty souls, and I wanted nothing more than for my child to know and understand the real meaning of love from everyone who had ever shown me exactly what it was.

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